Believe

where the food?

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don’t read, you’ll regret it :)

i know no one will ever read this so i’ll let it get off my chest.¬†

i’m in love with this guy, who probably has no clue. i have been hidding these feelings for quite a while now, almost 2 years. and honestly, i can’t keep going on like this. i mean, yes i do love the fact that i get freaking butterflies whenever i see him and his smile just lights up my world, when his eyes look into mine, i can’t hold myself from falling for him even more and just..i don’t know, everything about him is just so perfect. well, almost everything. he is a player. or at least i think he is, because he keeps touching this girl which is the biggest slut ever (and i’m not saying that because i don’t like her or anything but because she slept with a guy, in front of my fucking eyes..and with more then 6 people in the room including me, yuck ughh) and just the fact that it doesn’t stop him. i ¬†honestly think he has some kind of secret feelings for her. even if he doesn’t, it doesn’t matter..cause i know he’ll never feel the same way about me. i mean seriously, i’m a big cow. so fat, so ugly, who could ever want me? especially someone as perfect as him. well okay he is not that perfect to other people..he isn’t the tallest or the smartest or the coolest person but somehow i still mannaged to fall for him. for his personality, for his eyes, his smile, God he is perfect to me. oh well..he will never find that out because even if i did have the courage to tell him, he’d still say no to me because of how ugly and fat i am. and that is my biggest fear to be honest. people have hurt me so many times before that i don’t want it to be happening again. at least not from the person that has been the reason why i love going to school, just to see him. he’s the reason why i smile man..he is my smile. God, i wish he could be mine..